What to do first?

Is it March already?! Eek! So time does not wait for anyone. *Light bulb moment!* Hahaha.

I've been so busy at the office, working like a robot. Meaning, like I'm doing things on auto mode, getting tasks done, though knowing what I'm doing and hopefully doing them right. But my heart is just.. lost. I love what I do and I love all the things that come with it, but why is my heart lost?

Could it be being away from work for such a long time has frozen my drive and enthusiasm? Or could it be that I know I'm destined for better things (which have not happened at the moment) and what I'm going through now is just an intermission to a more interesting and exciting life, so I have unconsciously switched myself to auto mode, to pass time?

When people ask me 'How's work?', I answer, 'Great! Loving it!'. Which is quite true, I am loving my job. But I am not 100% purely, insanely happy. [Note: this only applies to my working career. I am 100% purely and insanely happy with my love life and family life].

I hope I find what my heart is missing. Soon. ASAP.

In the meantime, I need to plan a trip to Europe. Possibly for the end of the year but more likely to be in the first quarter of 2011. I need to list down where I want to go, what I want to see. And I need to sit down and read the Dummies Guide to Europe I just bought.

I also want to write a book, though I have no idea what I want to write about.

And I want to play computer games. I used to do so much of that all these years. But with work at the office and tending to my husband at home, I really can't find time to. I somehow feel playing computer games gets me in motion. Triggers my brain. Makes me more aware.

Hmm.. maybe that's what I really need to help me not feel like the undead...